Middle of the Night Musings

Originally posted August 9, 2015

Yesterday I was one of those mums! 
A few years ago I would have looked at me and had so much helpful advice. Yesterday all I had were tears and bucket loads of patience.

I have four children: 2-8 years old.  I am a good mum…no I am a great mum. Yesterday saw my eldest busy in town with drama so I took my youngest three to the playcentre.

That’s when it all began…for the outside world.

The moment came. My 2 year old lost it. Screaming at the top of his lungs, name calling (thanks older siblings) and acting like one of those children. You know the kind…the ones that slide along the floor screaming uncontrollably.

Three years ago I would have looked on in disgust: discipline him, cuddle him, talk to him, distract him. My well meaning advice and attempts to deal with what can only be an outburst reflecting on years of poor parenting.

Yesterday I stood in the middle of this scene. This child now mine. Too strong to hold. Too emotional to talk. Too upset to listen. I watched on as he stripped off in public, screaming all the while.

Eyes. Eyes everywhere. Mumbles. Wisdom echoing around the room. And then there was the face. The face I wish I had years ago;

‘You are doing well mum. It’s ok. Hang in there. You are loved.’

As tears rolled down my face my mind rushed a million miles an hour. I wanted to tell everyone how great our diet was. I wanted to explain how good we were at disciplining. How safe our home was, a home filled with love and healthy boundaries. I wanted to explain our expectation for sleeping all night. I wanted to show off our 3 others behaving so well.

No need. The court of eyes had already decided. Poor child. Another victim of poor parenting.

As I lie here in the middle of the night gazing at my boy I realise what a champion he is. You see he wants to sleep, but can’t. He wants to be calm. He wants to make everyone smile. He is full of love.

But his body is at war. Antibiotics as a baby, meant to save the world from catching whooping cough from him, have left his body in a mess. His gut left damaged. His body not absorbing all it needs from his food. No magnesium, no sleep. Food meant to nourish his body now causes it to flare up with eczema. His mouth full of ulcers, his face pale and eyes so dark.

He did well at the playcentre. He can’t drink coffee to mask his tiredness. He can’t write an article to articulate his pain. He cried. He screamed. He de-robed.

I’m sorry he couldn’t explain the full picture to you. He is my champion. This isn’t his lot in life. His body will be healed. His vocabulary will grow. His capacity to love unconditionally will expand, and one day he will be there for you. A grown man. Able to look on at your child with the eyes of compassion that you may so desperately need.

Next time you see the mum with ‘that child’ pause. Consider their day, their weeks, their months, their years. Love them. 

Tell a mum she is doing a great job. Encourage her.

Be the eyes of love. Your love could be the very thing that drives her to be the amazing mum God has created her to be.  

He has entrusted her with this child. He knows that with His help she can be a Proverbs 31 woman and love this child and raise them to be the champion He has destined them to be.

Recent update: Mums these difficult days don’t last forever. This champion has defied medical odds on more than one occasion. His skin is healed, he sleeps, he lives life to the full and knows that Jesus says:

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

John 10:10 NLT

Yes! I still have a cute video of him reciting this as a 2 year old! Mums, pray for your children. Pray for wisdom in the daily unseen mundane of life. God is doing a great work in them. The day when they extend love and compassion to others and speak life over other people comes around all too fast – I promise!

What will your response be the next time you see a screaming child in public?

Will you encourage a mum today?